It’s nice to hear laughter coming from Tampa nurse Amanda Grau who one year ago today didn’t know if she would survive the night after being stuck inside a bathroom for 3 hours with a gunman ready to kill.
‘”I think when I see it, it will be very emotional. I am just glad to have my family here," says Grau.
This right now is the closest she’s come to the scene since that night.
“I was shot underneath my armpit and on my leg and ankle. I was shot four times," says Grau.
But she says she wouldn’t be anywhere else,
“Wanted to be here for my friend Chris Sanfeliz. I had to be strong and brave."
Chris was one of the 49 people who did not survive the night inside Pulse nightclub.
That's why going back to the site of so much devastation is hard.
“I have so many mix emotions. Anger. Heartbreak."
"I needed to be here for my friend Chris. My family that’s here with me, they helped me walk up and be brave back at the place I was trapped at for 3 hours."
But Amanda knows she’s not alone.
Hundreds of people gathered around the club property to remember what happened on June 12th.
The love. The support. The Orlando strong mentality is what’s helped this community heal.
“This is amazing how Orlando is coming together as a community. That's what today is all about."
That’s what’s helped her get through this past year, today, and what’s next in the future.
“People need to know just because this happened, people still need to be true to themselves, love themselves, Don't be ashamed who you love who you are. I'm gay then. I'm gay now and that’s never going to stop."