Josh Hamilton apologized to family, friends and the Rangers Friday while admitting to a report he lapsed in his recovery from drug and alcohol addiction by drinking Monday night.
"I cannot take a break from my recovery," Hamilton said at a news conference in Arlington, Texas. "For everybody that I have hurt, for fans, kids, people who have addictions who look up to me, I apologize to you. When you're doing things ... you don't mean to hurt anybody."
"I'm sorry it had be this way. I would have been nice if we were talking about a contract, but we'll put the on the back burner for a while."
Hamilton said he had a "weak moment" Monday after "personal reasons" with a family member. He said he had 3-4 drinks at a bar, then called teammate Ian Kinsler.
"Once I do drink, I can be very deceptive, very sneaky in a lot of ways," he said. "Ian did know I had been drinking.
"No drugs were used," said Hamilton, a former No. 1 overall draft pick by the Rays whose early career was derailed by drug and alcohol addiction. "I've had two drug tests since Monday, so I have no concerns there at all."
Hamilton said he will be heading to New York soon just to meet with "the doctors on the major league side ... and talk to them about what happened."
He said he will do everything he can to take "all the steps necessary, whatever the steps can be," such as counseling.
Hamilton has had an accountability partner to support him in his recover in the past, but he doesn't have one at the moment. The job was previously held by Rangers hitting coach Johnny Narron, but Narron left this offseason to become the Brewers' hitting coach.
Hamilton said the Rangers told him they would continue to support him.
"Anytime something like this happens, you want to revisit things, see where you went wrong and let everybody who's helped you in the past really help you," said Hamilton, who sat alone at the news conference. "I've beat myself up for the last four days ... Nobody feels worse than I do."
Hamilton spoke freely without a prepared statement but didn't take questions from the news media.
"You guys know how hard on the field," he said. "When I don't do that off the field, I leave myself open for a week night. I had a weak moment Monday night in Dallas."
This is Hamilton's second lapse in his rehab. In 2009, he was photographed drinking at a bar in Arizona.
"I did take pictures with people and it was ... it was just wrong," Hamilton said. "That's all it comes down to. I needed to be responsible and I was not responsible. Those actions are mine and they hurt a lot of people that are close to me."
"Everybody can't be fine all the time. It's about me making that decision. It's OK to show weakness."
Stephen Borelli, USA TODAY