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Tampa, FL -- Bottles and bottles of prescription drugs.

That's what crime scene investigator Matthew Evans says he found inside the home of Julie Schenecker, 53, the New Tampa woman accused of murdering her two teenage children -- 16-year-old Calyx and 13-year-old Beau -- in January of 2011.

Evans counted pills in court. Bottle after bottle of prescription drugs like Lithium, Oxycodone, and several drugs even people in court found difficult to pronounce.

Defense attorneys then asked Evans to again read excerpts from Julie Schenecker's journal, first revealed on Monday.

The courtroom sat stunned and saddened as Evans spoke of Schenecker's tragic battle with mental issues, her plans to commit suicide, and the apparent reasons she had decided to also take her children's lives.

"Take me home, Lord," wrote Schenecker.

"The best job I ever has was having / bringing up my babies. This is why I had to bring them on with me. It's too possible they've inherited the DNA and lived their lives depressed or bi-polar!" Matthews read, "I believe I've saved them from the pain. I wish this on nobody – ever."

Julie Schenecker wrote her daughter Calyx had spoken of suicide from the time she was just 12.

Julie Schenecker also worried that if she took her own life, her children would have to live with the stigma of parent who had killed themselves, making it more likely, she wrote, that they too would one day kill themselves.

"If you're wondering why I decided to take out the kids it's to protect them from embarrassing them for the rest of their lives," Schenecker wrote.

Entries also included notes to Schenecker's husband, Col. Parker Schenecker, who was out of the country on a military assignment when the children were killed.

"Parker, I'm sorry, so sorry," she wrote in the journal, "but I sensed divorce was inevitable. I can't live alone."

Schenecker, who described her children as increasingly "sassy" and "mouthy" also wrote that she felt abandoned by the children.

"In my last seven weeks in bed, no one came into my bedroom to see how I was," she wrote, "You didn't teach the kids to be compassionate. Neither were you."

Julie Schenecker has been wiping away tears during the testimony. Her sister, sitting in the court gallery was also weeping.

Members of Col. Parker Schenecker's family listened with their heads hanging in sadness.

You can follow important developments in the trial by following on Twitter, @ericglassertv.

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