TAMPA, Fla. — Family dynamics can be tricky during the holidays. Everyone wants to get along, but just because we're family doesn't mean we agree on everything.
So when you gather around that Thanksgiving table, experts say there are two topics to avoid if at all possible — religion and politics. So stick to lighter topics like sports, upcoming vacations, and things that are happening with the kids.
But it's also good to have a plan. Kate Danley is a licensed clinical social worker with Thriveworks in Tampa. She says if you have a partner, friend or close family member, make a plan with them before everyone gets together.
"If an uncomfortable situation arises or an uncomfortable conversation, having a code word or a code phrase ahead of time that you both know this word or phrase means... I am uncomfortable and I am not leaving, but I need a 10-minute break," Danley said.
She suggests something like, "'I forgot the cool whip, let me run to the store real quick and grab some.'"
She also says if you anticipate issues, set expectations with the host. Tell them ahead of time that you can only stay for a couple of hours or you need to leave by a certain time. It's much easier to make excuses to stay if you're having fun than to exit early without a solid reason.
Another trick Danley suggests, especially if you're in the moment, don't have a plan and find yourself getting upset with a friend or family member.
"Have a nickel in their pocket or even a paper clip, like the bigger ones, and you just slip your hand into your pocket and rub on that paper clip or that nickel and that actually is a grounding tool to bring you back to the here and now."
As a host, you can keep dinner conversation light by having a list of fun questions for people to choose randomly. Things like, "What was your most bizarre holiday purchase?", "What new—and unexpected—hobby have you started this year?", "What is the next trip you're going to take?"
Click here for a bigger list. After dinner, board games can be fun, especially for the kids.
It's also good to know of things that are open or events that are happening in your area, so if you really need to break the tension, you can head out for some family fun.